The Adventure of a Lifetime Read online

  The Adventure of a Lifetime

  Christie A. C. Gucker

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  Copyright © 2012, Christie A. C. Gucker

  ISBN: 978-0-615-71586-5

  Edited by Rosa Sophia

  Cover by Christie A. C. Gucker

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

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  Australian Slang Glossary

  Wowser: prude

  Piss: Beer

  Bush telly: a campfire

  Whacker: idiot

  Sheila: woman

  Bloke: man

  Bonza: great, super, fantastic

  Chook: chicken

  Budgie Smugglers: Speedo-like swimming costume for men

  Cossie: Men’s swimming costume

  Cooee, within: nearby

  Drum: information

  Bludger: a lazy person

  Snack: something easily done

  Packing ‘em: scared or frightened

  Mad as a cut snake: someone who isn’t scared of a thing

  Buggered: worn out

  Poppin’ a vein: freaking out

  Doodle: penis

  Crack a fat: getting a hard on

  Damper and Billy Tea: a traditional Australian breakfast of bread and tea

  Root: synonym for fuck in nearly all its senses

  Toey: Horny

  It was years since I had taken a vacation. I spent what felt like eons getting through a rough divorce, and basically succumbed to staying at home sulking about the direction my life taken. This is not how I imagined things would turn out. This was not my life plan. I was supposed to get married, have kids, and grow old with my knight-in-shining-armor. My now ex-husband was not who he portrayed himself to be. Once the ring was on my finger, he began to control every little aspect of my life; my friends, where I went, and what money I was allowed to spend. Funny thing about the money, since I was the one who’d come into the marriage loaded.

  When my best friend, Jen, called me about taking that trip to Australia, I was extremely hesitant, but there was no way she was taking no for an answer. She was going to push the matter until I gave in. Jen was your typical homecoming queen, with gorgeous, long blonde hair, and eyes so blue, even the sky was envious of their color. She only had to bat an eyelash, and people handed her anything she wanted. Her body fit the mold of a supermodel, too. Did I mention she actually was a model?

  We had been friends since college. She had never married; she was too busy having man-after-man fall at her feet. I, on the other hand, was simply average. I had mousy-brown hair and green eyes, which I could only describe as lake-sludge colored. My body was decent; I was thin, but I was Italian, so I had the butt and thighs to prove my heritage. At least I had been blessed with a nice rack; in my humble point of view, it was my only asset. It was what had first attracted my ex to me; he was a tit man.

  Standing next to Jen only succeeded in making me look more average. Trying to go clubbing with her was always quite the task. Tons of guys would come over to talk with us, but they only wanted to jump into bed with her. None of them were ever interested in talking to me, except to find out how to get into her pants. It didn’t matter to me. I had fun with Jen. We were like little kids when we were together. We laughed constantly, and there was never any eggshell-walking. She was my sister from another mister. Which is why I was doomed the second I answered the phone.

  “Cassie, we’re going on a road trip. Well, more like a plane trip.”

  “Oh, we are, huh? Where are we going?”

  “We’re going to Australia!”

  “No, we’re not. You can, but I can’t afford it right now. I just bought jerk-face out of the house, let alone having to give him a huge lump of dough.”

  “Oh, but I’m buying. Well, not me, per say, but you get the gist. I have a photo shoot there and I’m allowed to bring my assistant. And anyway, you have tons of cash. What you gave him was pocket change.”

  “I’m your assistant now? What’s my salary?”

  “Shut up. You don’t have to do anything but stand there and help me pick and choose my outfits.”

  “I’m not going. Take your sister.”

  “Why the hell would I take her? She’s no fun at all. I want you to come with me. We’ll have a blast. It’ll be the adventure of a lifetime.”

  “I’m really not up to it. Honestly. I just want to stay home and . . . .”

  “And wallow in self-pity some more? You should be celebrating. You’re finally free of that gold-digging asshole.”

  “That may be true, but I don’t feel like celebrating.”

  “I am not taking no for an answer, so start packing and dust off your passport. End of subject; got it?”

  “There’s no way I’m getting out of this, is there?”

  “Nope, uh-uh, absolutely not.”

  I could feel myself cringe and then I felt the corner of my mouth start to curl. I had always wanted to see Australia. There was just something about that place that beckoned me to go. And you couldn’t beat the sexy accent all those Aussie men had. “Fine,” I said flatly.

  “Yeah!”

  I could hear her jumping up and down over the phone. “When are we going?”

  “I’ll pick you up at six a.m. We’re getting a limo from my sponsor. Oh, and we’re staying at this resort where we get to share a beachfront villa with a private beach. We even have our very own concierge or whatever-they-call-them down there.”

  “When?”

  “Tomorrow morning. You have nothing to say about the private villa? Hello? McFly? Would you please focus?”

  “Jen, that’s less than twelve hours from now. How the hell am I supposed to get ready for a trip like this in that amount of time?”

  “I guess you’d better get your ass in gear. Pack for three weeks. See you at six.”

  And the line went dead.

  I rolled my eyes and began to frantically rummage through my closets and drawers to find all the clothing I had not seen for quite some time. I had been living in my “I’m depressed” sweatpants lately.

  I spent the entire evening and night packing and making arrangements for my cats. I had become a cat lady during my divorce, having acquired two more to join the one I had won in the settlement. I needed the company.

  By morning, I finally finished packing, showered, and was waiting by the door when the limo pulled up. I hadn’t slept. Why bother? The plane ride alone was practically a full day long. I could catch up on sleep while we were in the air. I locked up the house and felt a strange feeling in my stomach as Jen ran to hug me. It was an old, familiar feeling. What was it? Oh, yes, excitement. It was something I hadn’t felt for a very long time.

  The plane ride was uneventful, which I appreciated greatly. I was able to get a full night’s sleep and then some. Jen did, too. She was presently snuggled into my side, drooling a bit. About twenty minutes before the plane was ready to land, I started to shake Jen back to the land of the living and wiped off my arm. “Wake the fuck up. We’re here!”

  “What? Already? That was the fastest flight ever.”

  “Speak for yourself. I swam here.” I showed her the drool spot on my sleeve.

  “Huh? Whatever.”

  We clutched each other as we gazed out the window at our destination. The ocean was a beautiful shade of ultramarine and was so crystal-clear, I was
sure I could see straight to the sandy bottom. I began searching for various marine life and reefs. Then I began to think about great white sharks. I was scared to death of sharks. They were my greatest fear, so I studied them intensely. Know thy enemy.

  Down here they called them White Death. Well, wasn’t that comforting? I had also read the nickname white pointers while studying Australian on the flight, but I quickly realized that might not be totally accurate. White pointers were female topless sunbathers—at least, their breasts were. That had caused me to giggle loud enough to wake Jen for a few moments. Maybe Australian women were man-eaters, like sharks. “So, where are we off to? You never actually told me where we were staying.”

  “We’re off to another plane. We’re staying on Lizard Island.”

  Lizard Island? She brought me all the way to Australia, and I was going to some island with so many reptiles they named an entire island after them? I should have known this trip was too good to be true.

  “Hello. Did you hear me? Your face kind of went all blank-like. Lizard Island. We’re flying out from Cairns. Lizard Island is the northernmost island of Queensland, and it’s right on the Great Barrier Reef. There’s supposed to be the most amazing snorkeling. They just refurbished the resort. That’s what my photo shoot is for, to promote travel to the island and the resort.”

  “So there aren’t any lizards?”

  “Oh, no, there’s tons of lizards. Monitor lizards, I think, those really big ones. This should be great. I am so excited. I have two shoots a day.”

  “Oh, fantastic. While you’re off gallivanting, I can try not being a wowser and have a piss with the lizzies around the bush telly.”

  “What the fuck did you just say?”

  We burst out laughing together.

  “I said I can try not to be a prude and have a beer with the lizards around a campfire.”

  “Oh my God, did you learn that on the flight? You are a wanker.”

  “No, that’s English and it means masturbator. I guess I have been one of those lately since the divorce. But I said wowser. Come to think of it, I might be a whacker.”

  “For this trip, you need to be a whore. We’ll find you a right nice bloke to blow. Now grab your shit before we miss our flight.”

  We got our things together and hurried to the next gate, where we boarded the much smaller plane we were taking to Lizard Island. I spent my time searching for sharks out the window. I was truly pathetic. But I had to admit the view was spectacular.

  When the plane landed, we found a limo driver waiting for us. He was an older gentleman, and you could see how the sun had drenched his skin over the years. He looked leathered.

  “G’day, ladies. How ya goin’? My name’s Rob and I’ll be your personal driver while you’re staying on the island. I’ve already collected your things, and we’re off like a bride’s nightie to the resort.”

  Jen shot me a smirk and got into the limo. I climbed in next to her, ready for my adventure of a lifetime she had promised. I was not getting my hopes up. I planned on lying on the beach and letting all my troubles slide away while I was here.

  * * *

  When we arrived at the resort, Rob drove us right to our private villa. Jen and I jumped out of the limo and ran like two little girls on their way to the ice cream truck on a hot August day.

  “Holy shit, this place is amazing!”

  “Jen, did you see the deck? We have a deck overlooking the ocean. It’s gorgeous!”

  “Oh my God, is that a day bed right next to the water? I think I just peed myself from excitement.”

  The first thing I noticed upon entering was the spacious living room. The ceiling was high, and from it hung a large paddle fan. The room was decorated with two chairs and a sofa, all dark wood, with cream cushions, and salmon-colored throw pillows. A medium-sized coffee table sat in front of the wooden furniture, with nothing on it but coasters. There was no TV. That was a good thing; it would force me to change my recent behavior. There were various paintings of beaches at sunset and marine life in underwater scenes scattered throughout the room.

  There was a full kitchen, which was basically part of the living room. There was a bar area with matching stools, as well as a small table on a tile floor. All the dishes and stemware were cobalt-blue glass, and there was a matching vase on the bar. The light danced across the vase; blue sparkles shimmered across the floor.

  Two large glass doors opened up to a deck leading down to the beach, which was made of deep earthy-toned timber planks, where two squatter loungers sat, calling us to take a seat. On the right, stairs led down to a timber pathway, continuing to the beach. On the other side, closer to the chairs, was one single step down, which led to a small horizon pool. Now that is what I would replace my TV-watching with. I guessed it was some sort of Jacuzzi, as well.

  “Well, I’m heading off now. Your butler should be along faster than a lizard drinking. You sheilas have a bonza time and call me if you need me,” Rob said with a wave as he left us to our newly found paradise.

  We waited until he was well out of earshot and began to squeal and jump up and down together.

  “Did he say butler?”

  “Well, they told me we had a concierge, so I’m guessing that’s what they call them here. Who cares? Let’s go check out the beach.”

  We literally skipped down the timber path leading to our beach. The beach was pure white, and the water was the most amazing hue of clear azure.

  Our day bed sat to one side, and a pretty good-sized beach opened up on the other. Our beach seemed to be gated by large gray boulders on either side, which were lined with small shrubs and other exotic greenery.

  I kicked off my shoes and immediately stuck my feet in the crystal water. I could feel the peace begin to wash over me. I took in a deep breath and realized I was in heaven. At that moment, my life couldn’t be better. All that mattered was that I was finally at my dream destination, with my best friend, and I was truly rid of jerk-face.

  I felt free. I peered out over the water to see whatever I could see, which was nothing but miles and miles of ocean. Peaks of the surrounding reef jutted out of the water, so I gathered it was low tide. Jen had been right; there would be some amazing snorkeling. I’d have to stay pretty shallow due to my fear of White Death. I guess I would see him coming at my white pointers, since the water was so clear. I giggled to myself. It was so secluded here; I was planning on going topless. Who needs tan lines? Heck, I might even go bottomless if I feel like it.

  “Let’s head back up, unpack, throw on a bikini, come back down, and hang here for the rest of the day. I don’t have a shoot until tomorrow.”

  “Okay. We should see if there’s liquor in the house. I’m feeling the need to completely unwind myself.”

  “There’s the Cassie I love and have missed deeply.” Jen placed her hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. I grabbed her hand and proceeded to pull her back to the villa behind me.

  There were two bedrooms, each with their own bathroom, so I picked the one to the right. It was comprised of mostly glass walls, so you got the impression of the room being completely open to the beautiful view of the water and the canopy of trees which surrounded it. One of the panes was actually a sliding door and opened up to my small deck and another set of stairs leading to a hammock. I could picture myself lazily lounging here daily, with a good book and a drink, while Jen flitted off to her job.

  I began to unpack my things, making sure to leave out a black bikini and suntan lotion. After a while, I had settled into the room and was already feeling at home.

  I heard someone knock at the front door, but didn’t hear Jen, so I ventured out to answer it. When I opened the door, my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. The man standing there was the most beautiful creature I had seen since arriving. He was tall and extremely tan. His body was chiseled out of heaven, because everywhere I looked, there were muscles rippling. He had sandy blond hair, which fell just below his neckline, and his ban
gs were swept to the side. His eyes were blue, a black ring around each iris. And then he opened his mouth and spoke, and the heavens opened up and angels sang. His accent made him five million times hotter.

  “G’day. I’m Lucus; I’ll be your butler while you’re here.” He put his hand out to shake mine. I didn’t move. I was frozen.

  “Well, hello, Luke,” Jen’s words dripped with sweetness from behind me. “I’m Jen, and this is Cassie.” She was quickly by my side, grabbing his hand. She side-eyed me and gave me a nudge. I looked up at Luke’s handsome face and reached out to shake his hand.